When I write posts like the previous one, you could be forgiven for thinking that I am arrogantly blazing forth my outspoken views, caring now one iota for who I might offend. In fact, when I write posts like the previous one, I suffer from intense and troubling anxiety about them. And yet, I keep doing it. In fact, I don't think I could stop if I wanted to. What could possibly be going on in my head to lead me to such a strange place?
I try very hard not to cause offence. An entirely fruitless endeavour, of course, especially if one has beliefs which can be in conflict with both religious orthodoxy and scientific orthodoxy. I don't enjoy arguing (although I enjoy informed debate), I don't enjoy insulting people (except perhaps when drunk) and I appear to have some kind of post-traumatic stress about certain fights over email I had several years ago with a friend of mine who, sadly, I have not been able to remain friends with since the incidents in question... She taught me much of what I know about philosophy, and I do miss her. The echoes of that incident are probably the chief source of my anxiety about posting potentially inflamatory material in a digital form.
What compels me to poke at orthodox thinking like a small child poking a hornet's nest with a stick? It's not curiousity. I have a fair idea what will happen. I don't know what it is. I just know I have to do it. I just wish I could be more at ease with it.